This is a story about a guy who could've changed my life in a completely different way.
A guy who only told me he loved me after I'd got with my boyfriend.
A guy who helped me get over all the guys who fucked me over, who was my best friend, and my soulmate in so many ways.
We said the same things at the same time, we laughed until we cried every time we had a conversation, we stayed up all night every night texting each other or talking on the phone for hours.
We loved each other. We just didn't realise it until it wasn't just 'us' anymore.
He would've been an amazing boyfriend.
I had a choice, and I didn't choose him.
I didn't want to ruin what we had, what I didn't realise was that by choosing my boyfriend, I would ruin our friendship anyway.
Sometimes, we have long conversations, and it's just like old times.
But he is not mine, and never will be.
I still feel love for him, but he doesn't for me.
It hurts me when he talks about his girlfriend, or the fact that he likes other girls.
It hasn't hurt me for a long time and I wonder if after everything that has gone on with my boyfriend, I've realised I made the wrong choice.
I heard a song that was 'our song' and it broke my heart to think how things used to be.

More nostalgia - my ex best friend (who suddenly chose to ditch me for another group of friends after 5 years and explicity told me she wanted to do so) and me had to help out for parents evening tonight at school. We were laughing and joking together just like old times. Occasionally in the presence of others she reverted back to her bitchy self, but for the most part I was reminded of why I loved her so much and why we stayed best friends for so long. I'll always wonder why she did what she did. I wish she didn't, but I'll never admit that to anyone.